“I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees.”

Dr. Seuss, “The Lorax”

Talking to people who are different than you about your differing opinions is always kind of hard. At best, both parties at least start with a little bit of uncertainty before becoming comfortable. At worst, well, I’m sure you know what it feels like to lose an argument.

It’s always especially tricky when religion is the topic. I mean, come on, if you look at pretty much any era of history you’ll find some type of ideological debate. We believe different things, and we need to talk about it.

Even though it’s what I write about, religious dialogue doesn’t come easy to me. What I love is to learn the facts of a religion and appreciate those facts in both their similarities and dissimilarities. But getting that information is a whole other stories, where emotions and opinions start getting in the way. If religious facts existed in a vacuum, that would be my introverted dream. But, they don’t, and you have to talk to people to know about what they believe.

Turns out that this is the good part about it. Most of the time, talking about faith can form bonds that are special, even if the people have different faiths. Some of my coolest friends are friends gained by of religious conversations, and I’m glad that I was brave enough to speak up.

It’s still hard, though, and every conversation will be different. For example, today BYU hosted some Evangelical students for an interfaith dialogue, and I was scared. And if I’m being honest, I left feeling disappointed in myself. I wish I had been able to say more, better articulating the things I feel most deeply. I hope to do a little better in the future.

So, here’s a reflection on some points I saw in the dialogue today that I want to improve on, myself. Perhaps they will benefit you as well!

1. Leave assumptions behind. For example, if someone went into a conversation with me thinking, “All Mormons are XYZ,” it might be really easy to only concentrate on those things I say and think that relate to XYZ. Whoever you’re talking to is a person with their own unique story, so go in to learn about them. With that being said…
2. Maybe go in with research and background knowledge! It’s not a requirement, though, as the person you’re talking to might not be the cookie-cutter image of what you think. As always, be incredibly mindful of sources and biases as you look, as many writings about religion can be deeply opinionated.
3. Trust yourself. Remember, most religious dialogue centers around personal belief. It’s good to realize that you don’t know everything, but know that you still have a place in the conversation. You have beliefs, morals, and goals, and you can share them!
4. Ask, don’t tell. It hurts to be told what your belief is by an outsider, instead of being invited to share yourself. Instead of saying something like, “Your church believes XYZ about scripture,” maybe reframe it as “What does your church believe about scripture? It’s a quick way to foster respect and civility, showing that you care about the person, not just the information. In connection…
5. Don’t expect people to be perfect. If the point of all interfaith dialogue was to share eloquent, well-read, brief, and exceptional descriptions of faith, well…you could probably just go to a scholarly conference on apologetics, or find a good book on it. Dialogues are in-the-moment, sometimes completely unexpected. Topics might come up that you or another person don’t know a lot about, or something that seems really important to you might not be as important to someone else. Always, always, always, see the other person as a person, and if they mess up, that does not mean they deserve less respect.
6. Embrace misunderstanding. The dialogue I was in today was held in a large, echo-y room, so I saw firsthand the importance of asking for clarification when discussing religion! But aside from acoustics, you will probably not understand all the words and ideas that the other person understands, and vice versa. And even if you know the words, they might be used in new contexts you’re not familiar with. It’s okay to misunderstand, as long as you ask more questions and try to break through to understanding.
7. Understand the purpose of the dialogue. Of course, some conversations are spur-of-the-moment, and you can’t just sit down and say, “Why are we doing this?” But understanding tone can make a huge difference. For example, discussing a religious question with a coworker has a much different purpose than, say, explaining why you should be permitted to wear religious clothing in a driver’s license picture. I learned after my dialogue today that the experience was meant to help Evangelical students better articulate their faith, and it helped everything make so much more sense! I totally would’ve thought of things differently had I known what we were doing there.
8. Remember what you learn. Don’t walk out and let everything fly out of your brain. Further…
9. Let the dialogue impact you. Take time to think about your experience, really wrestle with it if you need to. It is not “weak” or “unfaithful” to realize that your worldview has been expanded by a different opinion. It’s just the opposite. Let the dialogue add more complexity and nuance to your world. Who knows, your world might be a more beautiful, complete place because of it.
10. Do not generalize. Remember, this was one conversation with one person, or a group of people. That doesn’t mean every conversation will be just like this every time. That doesn’t mean that everyone from that faith thinks, dresses, behaves, speaks, or even believes in exactly the same way.

This list isn’t well-researched aside from my personal experience, and by no means is a comprehensive guide to interfaith dialogue. But, I think thinking through them has helped me realize that I can continue to do this, even if it doesn’t always come easy to me.

In fact, it kind of makes me want to do it again!

BYU

University affiliated with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. “The mission of Brigham Young University — founded, supported, and guided by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — is to assist individuals in their quest for perfection and eternal life…A BYU education should be spiritually strengthening, intellectually enlarging, and character building, leading to lifelong learning and service.”

“About.” Brigham Young University. (https://www.byu.edu/about)

Evangelical Christianity

“Evangelicals take the Bible seriously and believe in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. The term ‘evangelical’ comes from the Greek word euangelion, meaning ‘the good news’ or the ‘gospel.’ Thus, the evangelical faith focuses on the ‘good news’ of salvation brought to sinners by Jesus Christ. Evangelicals are a vibrant and diverse group, including believers found in many churches, denominations and nations. Our community brings together Reformed, Holiness, Anabaptist, Pentecostal, Charismatic and other traditions…our core theological convictions provide unity in the midst of our diversity…Historian David Bebbington also provides a helpful summary of evangelical distinctives, identifying four primary characteristics of evangelicalism…Conversionism: the belief that lives need to be transformed through a “born-again” experience and a life long process of following Jesus; biblicism: a high regard for and obedience to the Bible as the ultimate authority; activism: the expression and demonstration of the gospel in missionary and social reform efforts; crucicentrism: a stress on the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross as making possible the redemption of humanity. These distinctives and theological convictions define us — not political, social or cultural trends. In fact, many evangelicals rarely use the term ‘evangelical’ to describe themselves, focusing simply on the core convictions of the triune God, the Bible, faith, Jesus, salvation, evangelism and discipleship.”

“What is an Evangelical?” National Association of Evangelicals. (https://www.nae.org/what-is-an-evangelical/)

Mormonism (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)

Culturally called the “Mormon Church,” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints prefers its full title to emphasize its Christian beliefs. Believe that God has called a modern-day prophet to restore the Jesus Christ’s Church, which was corrupted. Teachings include increasing focus on the Savior, caring for the poor, ending personal conflict in lives, and strengthening families.

“Jesus Christ’s Church Is Restored.” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.(www.churchofjesuschrist.org/welcome/restored-church-of-jesus-christ?lang=eng)

Apologetics

“systematic argumentative discourse in defense (as of a doctrine); a branch of theology devoted to the defense of the divine origin and authority of Christianity”

“Apologetics: Definition and Meeting.” Merriam-Webster Dictionary. (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/apologetics)